Trendy Clothing Gifts

'Hope you've got a skirt on under that belt!'

Fashionista

Jeans sale

"I'm giving you an 'A' for the hair, shoes and trousers; but I think the top still needs some work."

'How do I look in these lowcut hipsters?'

'I hear McKellen takes scarf wearing to new levels of flamboyance at the Old Vic...'

"Do you have any stone unwashed jeans?

'Why do you have your hat on backwards?'

'Cargo Cult' (a man kneeling before a pair of cargo trousers in a shop window).

"The ads just says 'Everybody in Leather' - they don't say how much."

Puffer Jacket

Trousers. 'My trousers are higher than YOURS'

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

Showing A Bit of Leg: 1967 and 2017

"Of course I'm familiar with crop tops. It's just the crop bottoms, not so much."

Men's business romper.

Look at that getup! What's the matter with it? It only serves to attract attention. But without flashy sparkletarts, life would be boring! You say that like it's a bad thing! "Boring" - The new "bodacious."

"And you say you've had this problem with your vision since spring RTW 2018?"

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

Two women wearing identical dresses head toward exchange window at department store.

"I'll have the drum an sea bass, the house salad and the techno nachos!"

'At least we look cool. Especially with the wind chill factor.'

Emergency Hipster Beard

Rap music

"I want to be a more interesting person. Think maybe watching old black and white movies would do it?"

Old hippie gives peace sign.

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

Vivienne Westwood

"Well, the alternative would be to use your social media accounts to promote toothlessness."

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

Peak Beard/High Peak Beard

"My scoop-back tank comes in Mango, Morning Glory, and Scallion. Don's Maori surfers are available in Iris, Mustard, and Prawn."

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

'It's a chinstache. They were popular in the 1800's, but now they're coming back.'

"I'm looking for something that says country-but-only-an-hour-and-a-half-drive-from-the-city."