Trend Juggler T-Shirts

'His business forecasts make flipping a coin quite respectable.'

"AHHHH, MORNING!"

"I appreciate your devices that make it seem like you're paying attention, but could you actually pay attention and make eye contact so I know you are?"

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"I had considered hyphenating my last name, but now I'm leaning towards and underscore."

"I don't think I can be truly happy unless I have more passwords."

'We don't have anyone here by that name. Was he perhaps using one of his aliases?'

If you're a multiple personality could you spare an identity for an amnesiac?

"History test? But I studied all night for a math test!"

A new book with a little bit of this and a little bit of that.

"Norman still has seventies flashbacks sometimes."

Mystery and suspense at the library.

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

Choose any combination of the words above to name your brilliant first novel.

A statue of Mercury is defaced with a purse, stockings, a bra and lipstick.

"Doctor, before we start you've got to promise me that I don't have to give up anything."

"My name is Phil, and I, too, am..."

"Right, 1:02 minutes to the corporate conference meeting."

"I'm using my married name right now, but I'm keeping my maiden name on ice, just in case."

"It's not begging if you've been to college. It's attempting to arrange interim financing while restructuring your debt load."

'Will this job requirer me to look up from my phone?'

Tall tales and Short stories

Fiction/Non Fiction/A Toss Up.

The lame stuff you listen to (yes, you)

"My eyes ache, that's enough zoom meetings and screentime for today."

Writer, waiter, writer, waiter.

'It's great to get back to the simple life,'

'See, I told you I can text and chew gum at the same time.'

'Until that stabilizes, we will be monitoring your doses of market news.'

"I'll call you back. I'm in the middle of a make-over."