Trend Announcer Gifts

Behold, the fad herald cometh. He'll be proud of me; I just ordered both iPhone sixes. Hear ye. The following are out: soda, sitcoms, blogs, militarized police, Facebook and selfies. The following are now in: energy drinks, finger puppets, respectful cops, Snapchat and dronies. Also in: giving drones weekends and holidays off. Also in: the robot apocalypse. EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINA- I MEAN, WE COME IN PEACE.

Men's business romper.

"I, TikTok."

'Miss Raleigh. I'm studying megatrends. Bring me some megavitamins.'

"My tweet about not caring about what is trending is now trending."

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Kensington Fluffies

"I can't really tell you the future but I'll tell you what's trending on Twitter."

Notice: this dress will be out of style by January 2009.

Paranoia vs Social Currency.

"We succumbed to your hype."

'I've been a broker for almost three days and I've never seen the market act like this.'

"I can't believe I sold my soul for platforms, they're so last season"

"I'm sorry, but Chef Scott feels he's moved beyond that concept."

"He's our new trend-spotter?"

"Got to have a pair of those!"

The Bland Leading the Bland

I started my own Youtube channel. What's it about? Well, there are already too many stupid-stunt-and-prank channels, and too many holier-than-thou-independent-news-analysis channels. But get this: There were absolutely zero holier-than-thou-stupid-stunt-and-prank-analysis channels. Probably a reason for that. My first hard-hitting post reveals how the inauthenticity of the "Mario Kart" prank is driving away Millennials.

Fashion Mag - Totally in - So last season

Kevin: King of the Social Influencers.

"I call it decking - it will be all the rage in a few years."

"Report back to us about trends."

"I want you to meet these guys-they've got the hottest new stupid thing on the Internet."

Self checkout and 'selfie' check out at a store.

"If I hear the word ‘mindfulness’ one more time, I swear I’m gonna lose it."

"This isn't for me - it's for the economy."

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

New From The People Who Brought You I-Can't-Believe-It's-Not-A-Petroleum-By-Product Sandwich Spread

Designer Republic of Shoreditch

London Fashion Week.

Sitting Out the Lambada

"Granddad was the very first person ever to say 'Oh, wow!' "

"Dwayne is very important to us. He knows exactly when a trend will become a craze."

Endangered Entrees

"Oh and, incidentally, Whit, I'm afraid there's room for only one haircut like this around here."