Trend Analysis Fans Pillows

"Next time you hire a futurist, don't hire a good one."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Bowled over again!

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Men's business romper.

Studies show foods work miracles!

Under pressure.

The Statue of Liberty: A Journey Fan

Emergency Hipster Beard

"I'll have you know that, '#dirtylitterbox' is trending on Twitter."

On Aug. 3, 1992, the Moon rose over the horizon wearing heavy eye-liner and mohawk. Fortunately it was just a phase.

"Faster! Middle age is gaining on you!"

Evolving Changes in Medical Lingo

"I might just get a pie."

'If you're looking for compensatory materialism on wheels, look no further.'

"We're making a video of us watching TV so we can watch ourselves watching TV...later."

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

Final words on gravestones.

"What are you doing?"

'Filby, we've decided to accept your suggestion for air conditioning!'

Giraffe Selfie

"This afternoon, we'll be turning our attention to Guess jeans."

'Why don't you use more blue? -- Blue is very popular these days.'

"You'd be angry, too, if your alter ego was a successful physician."

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

'What's this I hear about you going long?'

An alternative theory as to why dinosaurs are extinct.

"Not until you've arranged your pillows."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

#notblessed

"One man with a mustache is manly. Sexy. Magnetic."

"Which 'ism' am I this week, Ms. Trotter?"