Treetop Tale-teller T-Shirts

Cuckoo from Nest Box

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

Fishing Tales

'My 'What I Did Over The Weekend' report is about my hunting a 17,000 pound moose, deep inside Canada.Some or all of this report has been fictionalized for dramatic purposes.'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

"Listen, pal, I’m not seeing a ‘giant squirrel eating a rib-eye steak.’"

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

Elephants never scared me. I once chased three of them into the river/I was able - before I lost my teeth - to bite a crocodile's tail right off / I'll never forget the time I roared so loud, twenty or maybe thirty monkeys fell right out of the tree.

'It was this big. I swear'

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

"I'm the ghost of woodshop past."

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

"That could've been ours. But noooo...You and your DIY."

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

'Day 57. The tigers appear to be adjusting to my presence.'

A Salmon Lie

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'

'He doesn't exaggerate, he just remembers big.'

"My dad was a prize-winning bull too: According to Mum, he won a raffle once at the local fair..."

Man around campfire Title: 'Ed is a fisherman who never lies. He tells all his stories sitting up.'

'Your childhood treehouse is where we will begin therapy....'

'That's right kids: I jumped through rings of fire when I was with the Circus!'

"So I break free and I swear that hook was this big."

The giraffe-tamer.

'I don't believe for one minute that an octopus crawled up last night and ate all the coconuts!'

"In your original statement, you said the fish was much bigger."

If you think you have caught a record fish...make sure you have a witness...

'He's lying about either a fish or his penis.'

A Tale of the Sea