Tree Shot Tactician T-Shirts

"First time pruning?"

'You're not confident at the water hole are you?'

Golf lessons

'So, how much to remove this ugly old tree? $1750. It's not THAT ugly.'

I rule by fear.

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

"Before I start. . . . are you sure pruning doesn't violate the tree's rights?"

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Welcome back! What a day! As you can see, our tree has been heavily pruned, but the kind arborist has saved our nest...

"Let me through - I'm a bonsai tree surgeon."

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

Tree collapse...

'Oh, we tried a nurturing corporate culture, but we found the law-of-the-jungle mentality is what keeps our competitive edge..'

'What a control freak!'

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

"Let's hope it'll work!"

Two men driving truck that says, 'Tree surgeons without borders'.

"It's called being preemptive."

"Voila! Our tree-trimming drone just saved us 600 bucks!'

"I will avenge you, Father."

Sawrd Fighting

Jurassic Country Club.

'Looks like a perfectly healthy limb to me.'

'You've all the symptoms of Dutch elm disease, so I'm referring you to a tree surgeon!'

Tree growing

Tree at the barber's.

Snooker.

Doctor to Pinocchio: 'I'm referring you to a tree surgeon.'

'Human beings get all the breaks -- just TRY to get Medicare to pay for a tree surgeon!'

'Well, Ranger Thomas, I'm afraid you've got Dutch Elm disease!'

'You don't make house calls? But you're a tree surgeon...'

'My needles are falling! My bark is peeling! I must have Dutch Elm Disease!'

'I went riding this morning. . . he got back before I did.'