Treatment Jester T-Shirts

'I stopped taking the medicine because I prefer the original disease to the side effects.'

"And as soon as he's on the mend,we'll get the physiotherapist in here with a ball of twine."

"We're following Carrot Top."

"Judgement Day: Division Four"

"Not guilty but prepared to settle out of court, your honour."

'Your Honor, my client would like to wave his right to a speedy trial.'

'Kimble, I'm going to give you a chance at purchasing - nip over to the cafe and get me a cheese and pickle sandwich.'

'Can I sue someone because I didn't win my lawsuit?'

Stepping on clown's shoe...

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"#notguilty."

'Your Honor, in order to avoid being sued, we find the defendant 'Not guilty.''

"Just how long has there been a maraschino cherry at the top of the organizational chart?"

Yawning barristers in court

Is there a spin doctor in the house?

'Make him laugh, make him cry.'

"Dave here, is a lawyer. But don't be too impressed, he only specialises in petty crime."

'I couldn't help noticing that nobody swore YOU in!'

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"We can give you enough medication to alleviate the pain, but not enough to make it fun."

'I want a win-win situation where both wins are ours.'

"I give up. Where's the patient?'

'My client has required the services of countless law enforcement, court, penal and probation personnel. He's not a menace...he's a jobs creator!'

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'He started it!'

'It was more than my finest hour, Paltrow. It was my finest billable hour.'

Justice

'I believe in trial and error, I believe my client being brought to trial is an error.'

'Is there any chance I could do the five years vicariously?'

"I'm popping out for a tinkle."

'When you are done balancing in your chair we will continue the meeting.'

"Once again, I simply don't recall."

"'Ignorance of the law is no excuse.' Golly! I never heard that one! Did you ever hear that one?"

"We, the jury, find the defendant."