Treat Yourself Advocate Gifts

Donut shop given 4 star rating by the police department.

Self help acupuncture

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

Surfing the daily stress

"Don't you think it's time we talked about Operation Doug?"

'I work two jobs and have three kids. At the end of the day I am exhausted. Do you have anything that is not sexy and just smells good.'

'No, honestly, it's just diet and exercise.'

The secret of living happily ever after....Do it alone.

"Nobody ever asked about my mental health."

"The bags under my eyes have combined to form some kind of face backpack."

"Instead of years of therapy, I decided to go for chocolate."

"If I 'HAD IT ALL' it would it be enough?"

Steamed Room: "Man, I feel so much lighter."

Self-esteem room

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

"You work too hard. You have stress balls!"

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Emergency numbers on a telephone.

Treat Dispensers for the Middle-Aged

Mr Metrosexual.

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

"Are you OK hun?"

'I'm even starting to watch Lifetime.'

'Your inferiority complex is better than mine.'

'Not only does he suffer from anxiety, he makes everyone else suffer from it too.'

Breast Height Chart

Sheep In Curlers

"I'm prescribing a mild sedative. Go wine shopping and get yourself a nice Chablis."

Loofah Lady

"The third little pig is now a menopausal porker. I hate these hairs on my chinny chin chin."

'I guess it was a breakthrough - My free-floating anxiety crashed.'