Travel Skeptics Pillows

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"If God had meant us to fly, he'd give us more leg room!"

"This cruise is getting a very stern review from me, I can tell you."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

Skip the TSA scans by wearing a Burka

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats."

"My husband won't do Florida - too sunny. He's afraid of falling asleep on the beach and waking up 75-years-old."

What Europeans really think: 'Why waste fuel on transatlantic flights? Drill a hole to Jersey city.'

Senior Investment Analyst R.G. Thornhill glimpses the Universe in a grain of sand and is not impressed.

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

'Memo: Cancel flight.'

"Awesome, yes - but what's the point? I mean, aside from the travel reward points."

"I just can't seem to get into the spirit of the thing."

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

SS Norovirus of the Seas.

Stanley Middleton

"Welcome to the new Drone 747, remotely controlled from a rented office in Calcutta."

"I'm starting to think those rave reviews about this place are rigged."

"Right, now have got everything - passports, airline tickets, parachutes..."

'Nice invention, but what about jet lag?'

'About time... my parents are keeping me here against my will.'

'I'm sorry you find the insurance too expensive,madam,but I doubt they have lifebelts your size!'

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

Poverty in Tourist Attractions

"I hate the beach. The minute you go into the water your phone gets ruined."

Prison on an airplane

'I told you these Time Share properties were a rip off!'

'I can't wait to get this holiday of a lifetime over so I can get back to my banal existence.'

'What's all that about, is there a match in France?'

'Being in here has finally cured my wanderlust.'

"Relax. I understand the airline has established several new safety procedures!"