Travel Deal Skeptics Pillows

Budget Holiday

Injured backpacker.

Excess Baggage: Airline CEO's should be forced to work at the check-in counter explaining those hated add-on fees to passengers.

Orville Wright, not sure he wants to eat airline food, brings a sandwich to his historic first flight.

'Well, there's another strikeout. ... get that bat company on the phone. I'm having second thoughts about their so-called 'volume discount.''

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

'Why pay the airline $7.00 for a beer, when I can get a drone to deliver 6 for the same price?'

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats."

'I don't like to question your map reading dear, but could you have another look at the last left turn?'

What Europeans really think: 'Why waste fuel on transatlantic flights? Drill a hole to Jersey city.'

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

Never choose a vacation spot by its posters.

'Another one of your screw-ups! You were supposed to get us a rental car!'

"Welcome to the new Drone 747, remotely controlled from a rented office in Calcutta."

"On the phone you mentioned that you were interested in one of our 'quickie-escape' packages."

'Hey mister, you can't smoke in here.'

"Do you have anywhere hot, cheap and with a lot of cats?"

'I'm sorry you find the insurance too expensive,madam,but I doubt they have lifebelts your size!'

Travel: Special low rates to Capistrano

Death Takes A Holiday

"They offer a discount if you book the airline, hotel, and car reservations for completely different cities."

'I believe I'm entitled to a discount.'

"Why do I get the impression you're trying to force me to pick your parent company's package?"

Saudi Arabia tramples on human rights, but this is ignored by those seeking trade agreements.

"Relax. I understand the airline has established several new safety procedures!"

Travel agent: 'I can give you a treally good deal, if you're willing to STAND all the way to Boston.'

HOLLYWOOD TRAVEL: Special! Entourages travel at 25% off!

"Well, we won't book with travel agent again"

'-or for fifty quid I can arrange for you to stow away'

Non-Travellers' Tales

'Why not just admit that you don't want to holiday abroad.'

1001 Places To Be Stabbed Before You Die,