Travel Aficionado Gifts

"Hold on -- your boarding pass says 'possum,' but your passport says 'opossum.'"

'Immediately after Orville Wright's historic 12-second flight, his luggage could not be located.

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

Lost penguins reading map in desert.

"Pandora's Carry-on"

'The advertised very low off-peak rate is for February 29th only.'

A Sudden Transfer To The Tokyo Office

'Hurry...here comes a tourist!'

'I'm afraid you're mistaken sir, this isn't a gastro pub.'

If the pilgrims landed today...

'What'll it be: rough-and-ready, ready or not, not on your life, or life's a beach?'

Passengers leaving commercial airlines for charter ones.

Mauvais Souvenirs De Paris

'Seems I miss ordered again. I think the only tense I learned in French was the imperfect tense.'

Topless beach

'Looks like the Germans were here first.'

Lowest Price Gasoline.

"We'd like to go somewhere that qualifies as a tax deduction."

'You are now entering Crenton, the city with the most intriguing 'You are now leaving' sign.'

'We have two classes - first and children.'

Crow to crow: 'It's about 20 miles from here, not exactly following any highway, but more in a straight line, like as if you were to fly ...'

"I thought I was going to be much more blown away by the Liberty Bell."

"Today's flight is overbooked. Is there someone who would accept a free travel voucher in return for teaching us how to correctly book a flight?"

Why Cows Leave Home

Bavarian Inn: NO glockenspiel playing after 10 PM!

Wrong place at the wrong time.

"They become aggressive when you recline them."

"Let me guess: You went to Jamaica for you rholidays..." (colour)

Come smoke with us!

"I said isn't it great to get away from it all."

'Oh boy, meals on wheels.'

Grim reaper waiting for someone in the arrivals area of an airport

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

'we must be near the water because I see a sea gull.'

'Well, dammit, I say he should stop and ask someone!'