Transportation Inspector Pillows

Lightening the load at the Weigh Station.

"I'm curious about your dependent children, Scamp, Flop, and Spunky."

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

GPS can still have a few bugs in the system.

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

"It only made sense for us to finally merge."

IRS Audit Section

'Due to recent staff cut-backs and consolidations, I'll be handling your death AND your taxes this year!'

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"Other folks have to pay taxes, too, Mr. Herndon, so would you please spare us the dramatics!"

IRS agent to professor scrutinizing tax return under microscope: 'Still looking for that tax loophole, professor?'

"Well, if it's a fairy story you want, here's a good one that arrived at the office today."

Tax Collector

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'You think he overheard my last lecture on tax code revision?'

'He's trying to persuade the Inland Revenue that it's a tax haven.'

'Will you bring in Mr.Harris' file - you'll find it under 'U' for unbelievable.'

'I know a lot of folks get us confused, but I'm actually taxes!'

'Ah, I see you made £2,000 more for me this year.'

"I now represent both death and taxes."

'Even if we did skin you last year, you may not deduct your dermatologist bill this year.'

'The Buck (after taxes) Stops Here.'

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

Industrial Injuries Benefit.

'We couldn't find anything wrong with your car, so all you owe us is for 2 hours of search.'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

'Tax inspector: In. Out. Suicide notes.'

'Please help me! Every payday, I get robbed some gangsters called 'Fiscal Authority'!

I.R.S.: 'All's fair in love & taxes'.

'Sorry, you must have the wrong person, I don't pay income tax.'

'We've minimized your tax liability by losing a lot of your principle.'

PAYMASTER, 'Just to be on the safe side, we withheld EVERYTHING this week.'

'I've invested my heart and soul in this company. I need a receipt for tax purposes.'

I.R.S. - Attention Investors! Remember to 'Buy low, sell high' so we can collect capital gains tax!