Translating Gifts

"I think she said she could live with the pain!"

Translator

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

Solicitor speaks legal jargon and has a translator who tells client: 'You haven't a hope!'

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Campaign for Plain English

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"You and your, 'why bother to learn another language. Everyone in the known universe speaks, Zarconian'!"

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

She - Interpreter - He.

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"It lost a little something in translation."

Henry the amazing talking dog.

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

Archeologist Deciphers Limerick Heiroglyphs

"My nephew Jack here can say ‘I’m unemployed’ in seven languages."

"No, wait a minute. I'm King. You're Rex."

Jorge Luis Borges

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

Dept. for Obfuscation - Out for periodic diurnal replenishment of nutritive substances.

East End Maps.

'This is delicious. I'm glad I didn't try to order in Italian.'

'I need a text-mail interpreter.'

'You've previously worked as a hieroglyph translator and an MI5 codebreaker - ideal!'

Proof Reading

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.

'It says here you can talk trash in five languages.'

We speak hieroglyphics here.

By the year 2500, 1 in 10 academics will devote their entire career to divining the meaning of the word 'sussudio'.

'Father, when are you going to get software for our home computer that will teach me French?'