Transition T-Shirts

"Listen, Mom, I'm not your little girl anymore."

"That's O.K., Dad. I think I'll do with the ambient waterfall sounds tonight."

"Everything else is great. I'm just saying... a little advance notice would have been nice."

'Yes, death signifies a cosmic change of address. Alas, your husband's mail will not be forwarded.'

'Not again'

"Here, kid. You're gonna need this."

The fate of the emigrant

'For your information, I am engaging the energy of change and complexity to create the future I desire.'

"I just..."

'You do realize you're no longer a pro athlete and there is no preseason to work out the kinks, don't you?'

"Your mother and I want to make your 21st birthday a moving experience. We'll help you pack."

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

Life and Death

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

"The problem with online schooling is I can't get help from Mom and Dad!"

"Hon, I'm taking your advice and starting a new chapter."

"It's a coming-of-middle-age story."

"Hi..just ringing to see if you got my e-mail?"

Doubt or Certainy

'So push has come to shove...'

"He just married me on the rebound."

Women

"Have a nice day harvesting data, honey."

PastFuture.

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

They were right. Life did get better after middle school.

"Just be happy you're getting in, worry about your hair later."

"Yesterday we're caterpillars, today this. Can't wait to see what's next."

"I love the smell of unemployment in the morning."

"Hello, I'm the bluebird of quiet resignation."

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

'Do I have to enter a plea?'

"For financial reasons we're selling this brick and mortar home and becoming an online family."

The First Family

"Recently separated."