Transition To Civilian Life Gifts

Support the Ex-Troops

"After a decade of war, are you still experiencing tough times & nightmarish stress?"

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Others will fight for you

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

Work/Life Balance

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Work Parfait

New Guy.

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tick, tock-tock, tickety-tick tock ….

"What was I thinking?!"

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."