Transition To Civilian Life Gifts

"After a decade of war, are you still experiencing tough times & nightmarish stress?"

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Others will fight for you

'Our parents were replaced by machines - We'll be replaced with new software.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'I'm Jeremy's father. I'm a computer consultant and I'm unemployed.'

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

Work/Life Balance

'AT&T? I'm letting you go. I'm down-sizing too!'

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

Work Parfait

'The Board has chosen you to handle the restructuring because you have no heart.'

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

Summer 2000: Children stumble upon the remains of Linda Tripp's old head.

New Guy.

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'The staff is being reduced. The exit strategy will be explained at a meeting to be held, after work, in the parking lot.'

'It's a lateral move, you'll now be getting all of Kramer's work too.'

"An actor, you say? Guess you caught the acting-like-a-waiter bug."

"What was I thinking?!"

Recruiting litigation lawyers is ALWAYS tricky..my last one took me to court for the emotional and professional damage I caused him by NOT considering him for a position I wasn't asked to fill.

'This one's for marrying him, and this one's for raising the kids.'

'Poor Kleinzweck -- his working hypothesis got laid off.'

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

'There they go - off on their own - and a finer bunch of fledgelings one couldn't ask.'

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

'The shareholders have voted you off the board. We don't feel you're tough enough. On the bright side, you've won this year's Miss Congeniality award.'

"Lost my job. But I'm pretty sure it's around here somewhere."

'Do you want to tell them their department is being downsized again, or should I?'

"Of course you can resign Ferguson. How would you like to buy back your freedom? Cash, credit card or easy payments?"