Transit Police T-Shirts

"You were doing over eighty miles an hour. What do you expect? I was listening to The Flight of the Bumble Bee."

Please Drove Carefully.

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Dog Crossing

No jay walking.

Street signs you don't want to see.

"I don't care why you crossed the road! I do care however about "how" you crossed the road: without checking for cars first!"

"Serenity's cool and all, but when do we get to bliss?"

"No officer, I didn't what the speed limit was. Those signs were going by too fast."

One way only.

Planned service changes

'Never, Ever...drive 56 mph on a 55 mph freeway in a sporty red convertible.'

"Please forward all my tickets to the auto manufacturer who made this self-driving car."

"I told you we'd be better off taking Canal."

Family traits.

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

'I thought forty is the new thirty.'

'Have a heart, officer... the little mite is starving!'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"Coffee...Cigarettes...Bubble gum..."

"Don't make eye contact... Don't make eye contact..."

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

'It's an idea whose time has come, Mr. Mayor -- 'drive-through traffic court'!'

Subway Thrillers

"No, officer, I don' t know how fast I was driving. I had my head sticking out of the window."

'Now I don't know what it's like in New York, but this is Kansas city, and we follow the laws of physics out here.'

"Were you using your mobile?" "How could I possibly? I've had my hands full eating and smoking!"

Speeding Forklift

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

'I think we both know that's a decoy.'

'Mostly we just block traffic.'

'Passengers were on their way to a clown convention. We've 7 fatalities and 174 in hospital.'

Unpopular Street Signs: Go, Please Litter, Yes Parking, Garbage Collection - Sometimes Never - Mon-Fri.

Speed enforced by tractor beam.