Transformation Seekers Gifts

Sigh. No one ever notices my inner growth.

'Hey, Chuck! You look GREAT! Lose weight?...Workin' out?...Sex change?'

The world after the Coronavirus

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

"Good game."

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

"Son, it's time you learned the benefits of sitting around doing nothing."

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

"It's a letter from the Vatican. They say that whilst walking the streets without stepping into dog poo is nearly as miraculous as walking on water, it's not sufficient to canonize me!"

"Could you go back to the front desk? The receptionist has some forms for you to fill out."

"This next one is called 'The Sermon on the Mount.'"

Road sign: 'No Passing Zone... This, too, shall pass.'

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

'I'm just not sure how much more I can teach you.'

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'Don't just sit there thinking. Meditate.'

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"All we have left is standing room only."

"Well, that certainly killed my buzz."

He avoids wrath, envy, lust, greed, gluttony and sloth -- the problem is he's proud of it!

Astral Projection

"Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama?" "That's right." "What's right?" "Who plays ball with the Dalai Lama." "Why are you asking me?"

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

Zenemies.

A man deflates and dissolves into the ground and becomes a flower.

'The meaning of life is dog food.'

My God, I need to fart.

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

'Of course homosexuality is not a sin, handsome.'

"How do you say ‘Where is the bathroom’ in Sanskrit?"

"Needs to get a life"

"Then one day, as I caught a tennis ball in midair, I asked myself, 'Is this all there is?'"

Tiny Visions