Trans Fat Rebel Pillows

'Bless me father for I have sinned. I use trans fats in all of my pie crusts.'

Any time is cake o'clock

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Chocs away.

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"I'm a monster."

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"I think the problem is that you're not eating properly..."

"It's improv night."

Attempting to eat your own bodyweight in cake can act as a mood enhancer.

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

Melvin would go to any lengths to get away from McDonald's advertising...

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

What can I get you? Ham sandwich with extra cheese. Double banana split. Side of sugar. Coming up, sir. I am abandoning my New Year's diet! If you're gonna go down, go down in flames. Burn these gym clothes!

Dieting is for losers.

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

"Saints preserve us! The boulevardier got another jaywalking ticket."

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

Diet Enforcer

"I just thought maybe we should consider letting ourselves go now instead of waiting a few years into our marriage."

"Sorry, kid, the nutrition nannies threatened to shut me down if I didn't change from chocolate to tofu Easter eggs."

"He shows enormous potential."

'After 25 years of research we've concluded that you should just eat, drink and be merry.'

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

It's a gingerbread cyclops....I ran out of raisins!

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

Monsanto