Trans Fat Rebel Pillows

'Bless me father for I have sinned. I use trans fats in all of my pie crusts.'

Any time is cake o'clock

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Chocs away.

'Ahh...now there's a man who understands women.'

"I'm a monster."

"Sarge, he says he wants to make a 'fashion statement'!"

Non-Uniform Day Today.

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

"Why are we eating all this fattening stuff? Pier pressure."

"I think the problem is that you're not eating properly..."

"Yoga has helped me appreciate the healing power of donuts."

"It's improv night."

'My mom told me to keep my hands out of the cookie jar, but nothing about my head.'

Attempting to eat your own bodyweight in cake can act as a mood enhancer.

'I've decided to give up giving up!'

Melvin would go to any lengths to get away from McDonald's advertising...

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

'I always shop here. They don't sell low fat ice cream so the guilt is gone.'

"I didn't miss my workout...I didn't miss it one bit!"

Dieting is for losers.

'Headmaster I'd like to report Biggins and Small who were caught this morning consuming trans-fats behind the bicycle shed.'

"Saints preserve us! The boulevardier got another jaywalking ticket."

"I just thought maybe we should consider letting ourselves go now instead of waiting a few years into our marriage."

Diet Enforcer

"If you're as smart a refrigerator as they say you are, you'll keep your mouth shut about this."

'I seem to be very conservative but secretly, I'm a rebel - I don't wear pants.'

"Sorry, kid, the nutrition nannies threatened to shut me down if I didn't change from chocolate to tofu Easter eggs."

"He shows enormous potential."

'After 25 years of research we've concluded that you should just eat, drink and be merry.'

"My blood type...it's the type that doesn't like to exercise."

'Why are you hiding in the closet?'

It's a gingerbread cyclops....I ran out of raisins!