Train Ticket Troubles Gifts

'Doctor, I need help.'

Alice Through the Looking Glass - 'Tickets Please!'

Bench clearing brawl, $5.

'Where's the circus, buddy?'

Man takes sandwiches left beneath a 'please take one' sign

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

'Just a minute, officer. I found a loophole in this law book!'

'Quicker to cycle anyway, mate...'

"I'm a dynamic pricing consultant."

"I've brought the wrong tickets...And I've come to the wrong show."

"Whoever he is, he has season tickets."

'Mr. Evans, it's a speeding ticket. You can't plea insanity.'

"He lost his Season Ticket."

'When you said 'arriving by Amazon' - I thought you meant the bleedin' tickets.'

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

"I see cars. Lots of illegally parked cars."

"Your tickets are only valid between 9:37 and 09:45 on an alternate Tuesday in a month with an 'R' in it. . . and only on the less-frequent train company. . ."

'Just give me everything you've got.'

'This is not a ticket. It's just a piece of paper we decided to put on your car. - Police Dept.'

"The reason I can't show you my licence is because you took it away from me yesterday!"

'Fixing parking tickets is a local matter.'

Passengers on the underground

Anti-Fraud Drive.

'And these are the new proposed additional charges?'

'Say, aren't you the cop who gave me a speeding ticket for going 26 in a 25 mile per hour zone?'

'Do you have specials terms for students?'

"You were doing 35.001 in a 35 mile zone..."

Cops are pigs. Deal with it.

'I didn't accuse you of being a stowaway - I merely asked to see your ticket...'

People with and without tickets on a train

'Before you get upset - maybe he's selling tickets for something.'

Rather 'Cute.

"You can bring in the rest of the fare tomorrow."

'And this is Madame Miggins, she's responsible for working out our pricing structure.'

Network SouthEast - "Sorry?.. you mean I pay you?"