Trail Mix Enthusiast Gifts

"What I like most about this is the trail mix."

"Man, I love roughing it out here...but this trail mix is making my fingers sticky!"

Wine enthusiast tries to make his way to Cork.

Hither and Yon sign

Mountain bikes and molehill bikes.

"Yaffle Pass Elevation 11,990 ft Continental Divide"

'Y'know, this wouldn't keep happening if you learned to load your pack properly.'

"Hey, Doris. I'm learning some interesting things about animals from my trail camera! For instance, I never knew that bears were capable of making obscene paw gestures!"

Man sees half-eaten 'Do Not Feed the Bears' sign

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

Mary Berry

Bear painting signs encouraging people to feed the animals.

Confusing directions.

Orienteering 101

"Up here! Beef jerky, trail mix, energy bars!"

All Roads Go Nowhere.

'I found a whole bunch of worms in the wheel wells!'

'This is where the trail gets a little more challenging.'

'It's the word MODERATE which scares me!'

Deer with Crosscut Saw.

"If you roped your cowhand by mistake, turn to page 21..."

'Now I'm glad I sprained my ankle. The view from up here is beautiful.'

Man sees bird about to drop objects, near sign that reads: 'Beware of Gull Stones'

"Man, I love roughing it out here... but this trail mix is making my fingers sticky!"

'Well Cookie. . . it looks like some horse droppings, cattle droppings, some tumbleweeds, barbed wire and parts from an old wagon. . . What the heck do you call it??'

"Can you see that beautiful patch of color just to the left of Gulf Island Pond, with all those marvelous loons? That’s where we passed a sports bar."

"You're taking the wrong road not taken."

The Call of Nature

"We've been walking forever. When does the 'hike start?"

Confused Tourists

"It's a good thing this is a leisure-time activity, because you couldn't pay me to do it."

"I always have chicken so I can study the entrails."

"Sweet? I thought you wanted someone with edge."

'The top and shorts are a perfect match.' (Sales assistant to customer in a jigsaw outfit).

'Ted, could you speed it up a bit? Some of this is turning into compost.'