Tragedy Taster Gifts

"Is this a dagger I see before me?"

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

'The classic masks of Comedy and Tragedy, or as they're now known, emoticons.'

"Being vegan or vegetarian isn't enough anymore. From now on I will only cook stuff I stepped in on the sidewalk."

'And that's how to make pancakes.'

'Your blood pressure is extremely high - your resistance to things that cause it, extremely low!'

A new career for George W. Bush: taster in a pretzel factory.

Ethnic food springing out of a menu.

The race against gravity with an ice cream!

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

'He has been asked to review a new dog treat ... '

'We first met here - when I was doing your job.'

'I had a taste of my own medicine yesterday - Yuck!'

"Column A are things they said would kill you ten years ago but are now considered totally good for you. Column B are things they currently think will kill you."

'Telling them there is no meaning to life only ruins it for the rest of us.'

Comparative Review of the New York Post and its App

"I'm always tempted by the more esoteric flavors- if only out of pity."

"The diet section is located next to the snack bar."

"Just don't swallow any. What we're wallowing in is Hi-Density Syntha-Soil Fabricated Mud."

'How about a few of the pretty pink and yellow ones today, dear.'

'It's okay - they're VITAMIN-ENRICHED chocolates!'

Book Burp

Slimline Santa

"Come to the dark side."

"I knew I didn't need the Death by Chocolate."

Evil Personified $1.00

Ice Cream Cone Ladder

Devils and Angels

'. . . of course, batteries are not included.'

'How are you enjoying the ups and downs of equatorial swimming?'

"Just trying to get in on that whole 'farm-to-table' thing..."

"It was thrilling, yet terrifying. I felt like a diabetic kid in a candy store."

'I don't dare look at that dessert...but feel free to describe it to me in graphic detail!'

Latest: Delia loves apples.