Traditions Mugs

Eight nights of excuses

Four Questions of the Seder

All-Candy Seder.

"The Kitmans in 12-B. Tell them Elijah is here for the Seder."

Hanukkah tree

"Shadow, nothing. I saw Elvis."

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Early versions of the new year's eve ball drop proved less popular among revelers,

'What clan do you belong to?'

Out of kilter.

'Perhaps we need more multi-culturalism.'

'And now we break the middle matza in half.'

The Annual Chanukah Dilemma

Bris-A-Mole

"Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, which may involve an occasional hot=dog-eating contest."

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

"I couldn't decide what to give up for Lent, so I gave it all up."

Mother says to son on Bonfire Night: 'Of course, we won't actually be burning the Guy because of the carbon emissions.'

"We had this last year."

E-Bahgum Mail

"I miss handshakes"

"Oh, we're just here for the party."

'We don't do caroling anymore, sir. We'll give you an URL where you can download the greatest Christmas songs!'

"You go out there! I can't take the pressure of predicting the end of winter this year!"

"We always have pizza for Easter dinner because that's what my mom gives up for Lent."

'What, They're comfortable.'

You Will Eat A Fortune Cookie.

Why children, apples and honey should not be left unsupervised.

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

The Seder plate at Ye Olde Yankee Inne

New Year's Eve.

"What are you wearing under your kilt?"

'They like our turkey dinner tradition, but they're not so sure about the wife-swapping.'

'I totally forgot what I was looking for.'

Snowboy becomes a Snowman.