Traditional Medicine Lover Pillows

"You might as well go see some crazy old lady who treats you with herbs and tree branches!"

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

'With these alternative fertility treatments you never quite know how things turn out,'

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

New Age Store.

"Charming, absolutely charming."

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

Witch Doctor

PHARMACY, 'Tell Hippocrates to write his prescriptions in Greek -- I can't read Babylonian!'

Man to other coming out of Alternative Health Club: 'I had total joint replacement - they switched me from hemp to medical marijuana.'

Alternative Medicine.

'Take two of these, and call me in the morning!'

"Solar flares may be a contributing factor or perhaps it's a negative vibe sensitivity...."

'I've got an appointment with Mr. Payne.' - 'He'll see you now.' - 'Okay, take a deep br-' - 'Gah!' - 'Great, now turn ov-' - 'Argh!' - 'And a final tw-' - 'Mummy!' - '*Sob*' - 'Okay, all done.' - 'Did you, by any chance...' - '...hear you crying...'

"My super-vision sees...someone yelling at his elders...Cousin Cecilia sneaking out her window...someone making a spinach burrito... No! I must stay focused...and find the evil villain mal de ojo!"

*Not suitable for those with an allergy to consciousness expansion

"Lately my joints are stiff." "You're rollin' 'em too tight. Try vaping."

Acupuncture - "So two hundred needles stuck into my fags will help me quit smoking, will it?"

An unlicensed acupuncturist

'We don't have a health plan but our accountant knows Reiki.'

"Dude, we've struck cannabis oil! We're going to be rich!"

Man passes Holistic Health Clinic and sees Holistic Donuts.

'How optimistic are you about the future?'

"I thought you said you were dating a rich doctor!"

"This mixture of herbs and spices will rid the casa of ghosts! I will send them fleeing into the night!"

Cowboy Acupuncture

"If you ask me, your Christmas gift return policy is too liberal."

'Stop Hamish! You're playing ma haggis!'

"We’ve been told to cut the drugs budget so in future Louella here will be chanting away your pain."