Traditional Holiday Themes Pillows

'In an age of GPS navigation, why do reindeer still guide your sleigh?'

"All natural snow cones for sale."

Christmas Tree

'Looks like someone beat us to the punch.'

Elfie Stick

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"Did you check the little patch of grass by the swing set?"

"I noticed a few browns."

Christmas sweater alternatives

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

"The last one is Uncle Charlie. He was pardoned in 1987."

'One of my relatives is coming to Thanksgiving dinner...and one of yours.'

Merry Kissmas

"I guess it must be that new growth hormone the farmer gave me!"

"Honey, I love celebrating Christmas! I love all the food, the sweets, the Christmas tree and the presents, but our bank account hates Christmas!"

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

The First 3-D Thanksgiving

"We're history, Rudolph....I tell ya, we're history."

Happy New Ear!

'Happens every year - I can never remember where I put the tree decorations.'

The worlds Longest Rendition of 'Joy To The World'.

"Trust me – she's a witch."

"...and most of all, thank you for pre-cooked holiday meals from the supermarket!"

"Hold still, it's a programme about making your own tv cabinet."

"Room for bigger presents."

Easter Bunny!

Hallelujah!

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

"I'm a little angel when I'm asleep. Does that count?"

"I've decided to forgo expensive gifts with acts of apathy."

'You have your Boxing Day dip and I'II have mine...'

Centaur becomes pantomime horse