Traditional Business Practices Mugs

Paradigm shifters company.

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

"At First Infidelity we're all about integrity...."

"I don't care if it's more bouncy - it threatens the integrity of the game."

"No coal here, either - but you never know until you look."

Letter writing lady.

"It's my conscience... It's all achy"

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

'Mummy, Daddy, this is Dylan. Dylan's ambition is to make conkers a recognized Olympic sport.'

Suggestion box: 'Build a bigger Complaints box'.

"I strongly feel we need to start thinking inside the box again."

'I wish Brother Gregory would spend less time surfing the 'net.''

Employer of the month...and every month.

'When the music stops, sit down in the nearest chair. Whoever doesn't get a chair is redundant.'

"If we're doing such a good job of keeping the devil away, how come we have so many of these infernal machines around here?"

Tourist viewing indian rain dance carries open umbrella.

Boss: 'Change is good!' Employees: 'Who's getting fired?'

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

"Hurry up with that cork!"

Compete with This

"Let's see if we can't make an end run around basic human decency."

What a stupid custom! I like it. Teddy. Twig. But I don't believe in Santa and neither do you. So don't hang your stocking! I do believe in mom and dad! Ahh

'You're likeable, Edgeway. However, only the least likeable get promoted to management.'

Living life dangerously 2010.

"Gentlemen, this has materially changed the way we grease palms."

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

Really, Brother Gregory, that was only necessary on your head.

"Management is about delegation, so I'm delegating you to sack yourself."

"Sorry, I double-booked. This wouldn't happen if I had a computer - but they insist we do everything by hand."

And remember son, never take your grandfather's picture down from the boardroom - it's bugged.

Shaker Timeouts

'I don't care how young it makes you feel. You work here, you carry a briefcase.'

"I don't believe in hierarchies, just higher chairs."

Coffee shop request for tea in china cup.

"Lastly, I'd like to introduce Rex Nevada who is here to deal with the rampant cattle theft up in marketing."