Tradition Lovers Gifts

'This one is better. No needles on the carpet.'

Shavuot - Like!

"So, are you predicting an early spring?"

The Rabbi who performed my son's bris just sent me a text. Wouldn

'Yes, dear. Cell phones and credit cards can work wonders. If you can make a shrinking-machine, a gas oven that works under water, and an apple pie like my mother used to bake, I'll be very impressed.'

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

'A religious zealot denounces a toaster for working on the Sabbath'

"An early spring was just a prediction- I can't actually control the weather!"

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

Folk Wedding

"I often consult with a higher authority... my grandmother."

"Tia Carmen, I have a killer test tomorrow. Can you help?"

"Does dad know you're dating the guy from the Seder plate?"

Shall I be mother?

'This is cow country, pal, and we're not real big on innovation.'

Maypole

"Oh, it's a grand day for Harvard!"

'Let's make it cutting edge...with a traditional feel.'

It's a tradition. On hole number 1 in the first round of the season, Ernie always says that's the best shot I've hit this year!

"The Flying Wallendas at home"

'How about June? -- I've always had June weddings!'

"Milton Woolburg, founder of traditions, legends, and general flimlam."

Poorly planned Chanukah crafts

We're waiting to see if he'll see his shadow.

Time for Tea

Queen reigning.

First Marriage.

'I want a traditional church wedding but Sam prefers something trendy. Can we compromise and do it bunji-jumping from the steeple?'

'Why can't you do a yodel that sounds like you're making money instead of cheese?'

Happy Hogmanay!

Groundhog Day.

'Not ANOTHER pub boarded up!'

"We don't make toys any more. I send the elves to buy them in China."

The Nargleys perform their post-holiday ritual of trying to blow all the needles off the tree in one breath,

'Well,what do you think of the new gown and wig?'