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Ostrich Farm

Effective farming.

Ploughing your own furrow

'Johnson, I know to err is human but for me to forgive you've got to pay for the tractor.'

"What kind of mileage do you get?"

'It's been three days, Earl. I don't think she's coming back. You should have left it in park.'

'Look at it another way. Think of the money you'll save on tires.'

Tractor Art

Kid sits in corner near bag marked 'little tractor repairman'.

"You're late again. I'll have to get another driver."

"And, who is this Alice Chalmers that you've started spending money on?"

Tractor

"It's not porn, it's a Massey Ferguson 6700 S with 200 HP."

"You're really crazy about that girl, aren't you, boy."

12 O'clock was 'I'm a tractor time.'

'You wanted a tractor intead of a wedding car, and our dogs as bridesmaids... so why shouldn't I have one of my cows as best man?'

Farmers' Warnings.

Al's Farm Equipment: Our Prices Can't Be Beat!

Tractor Racing

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed house site, but that I'm not familiar with your planet's building codes.'

'This'll save a couple of journeys!'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Farmer Christmas.

'Jimmie, run and tell your dad the tractor is flooded.'

'What do you think of the new Mars Mover I just ordered from The Whole Mars Catalogue?'

"The next song is for all you unreconstructed commies, who are still in love with their tractors."

"I got it from eBay."

"You can't beat a ploughman's lunch"

Route 666.

Obsolete: Any piece of machinery that you bought last week for $100,000.

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

Heavy Traffic.

"On our budget, I'm glad the Keebler Elves were available."

'How is it on gas? I was afraid you were going to ask me that.'

A man imagines he looks like a farmer on a tractor on a ride-on mower and