Toy Defender T-Shirts

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

Santa Claus's Mail

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

Slinky Cow World

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

Model Nato Afghanistan Army

"Loves it, just can't get the little fellow off it"

"Ramming Speed!"

Wall Street lights the American Dream on fire while citizens try to burn Wall Street.

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

'Storm'

'For our specials today, we'll despoil our shared environment, filthy-up the air, completely ignore the rules of good global manners and cyber attack all your systems. . .'

A giant rubber duck with a human bath toy

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

Only in the newspapers.

'This isn't my closet - this is my room.'

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'Jennifer's playing with my imaginary friend and she won't let me play with him.'

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Woman looks at menacing cuddly toys in shop window. Sign says: 'New for Xmas: Huggable Hoodies.'

'A toy for a six-year-old boy? Certainly, Ma'am -- conventional or nuclear?'

'You're the mother and those are your children? -- I'd like to see a DNA test.'

Toy repair.

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."