Toy Defender T-Shirts

'This is my toughest soldier -- He's been through Mom's vacuum cleaner eight times!'

Santa Claus's Mail

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

I hate deer! What do you have to repel them? They're awful. I've got fences. Sprays. Decoys. Tree's Tree Nursery. I'll takes these. Anything to get rid of the varmints. Ring him up, Twig. I don't know why you are so down on deer. They've been very good to you! Anti-deer.

That one has all the batteries!

"There's something about ripping the stuffing out of a toy that turns me into a wild dog. I'm afraid I actually like that feeling."

"Hey, dad. We wanna play army before we go to bed. Can we have our toy medals back?"

Upper class child with toy cruise ship.

Slinky Cow World

Teddy bear being taken to hospital.

Model Nato Afghanistan Army

"Ramming Speed!"

"Loves it, just can't get the little fellow off it"

Wall Street lights the American Dream on fire while citizens try to burn Wall Street.

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'Oh,oh, Regina has her lawyer with her.'

'And you said he'd shoot his eye out with a BB Gun!'

'Has he been out with your mother by any chance?'

'How long did you try before calling?'

'Storm'

'For our specials today, we'll despoil our shared environment, filthy-up the air, completely ignore the rules of good global manners and cyber attack all your systems. . .'

'Son, you need to describe the boy who took your yo-yo to our Etch-A-Sketch artist.'

Gramps shows the kids HIS favorite stuffed animal.

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

A giant rubber duck with a human bath toy

Only in the newspapers.

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

'You expect me to play with educational toys during SUMMER VACATION?'

'This isn't my closet - this is my room.'

'Jennifer's playing with my imaginary friend and she won't let me play with him.'

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

Woman looks at menacing cuddly toys in shop window. Sign says: 'New for Xmas: Huggable Hoodies.'

'A toy for a six-year-old boy? Certainly, Ma'am -- conventional or nuclear?'

'You're the mother and those are your children? -- I'd like to see a DNA test.'

"Large destroyer on the horizon, captain."