Tour De Tough Pillows

"They're padded shorts: yes, your butt looks big."

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Knight in shining Lycra!

Bradley Wiggins

"Yes, but this one is made of Chiclets."

'And, at those prices, we have two wheel well seats available.'

Man biking with an enormous amount of things on his back.

'I think we have some stowaways.'

That private little woodland walk you used to love now with a: Visitors' Experience Centre!

'What?! Not even one of you wants to see how they're made?'

'Well, they're just like your mom's cookies if your mom is a 35 ton, multi-unit dough extruder.'

'The yeast cells are flocculating? - I don't think the kids are ready for that.'

"Now we're leaving the hall of stuff we stole from other cultures and entering the hall of stuff we paid too much for."

'And here on our left you see the sugary cereal aisle...a real crowd pleaser!'

Michel Roux Jr

Let's see...number 61...the painting's name is 'Calamity'.

Whale Watch Tours.

"Howard's gone on the Tour de France without his bicycle again."

"You'd think over the years one or two of them would catch on."

"The years 1966 through 1995 are blank because I was on tour with the Grateful Dead."

La Tour 2007.

'This is the last goodwill tour I do!'

Parents compare buggies

Tour de Pothole.

Winery tours.

"It's an audio guide, sweetheart, not a remote."

Tour de Lance Over. Next year the To de France returns!

"The contractor that built this house used to be a shoemaker."

'To be honest, Fred, the tour was so fast that I won't know exactly where we went until the credit card bill arrives.'

"I have two children by a previous tour."

"Sit tight, chief-I'll take you out where the big swords are."