Toothpaste Brand Warrior Pillows

'You heard me stranger! This town ain't big enough for two effective decay-preventin' dentifrices!'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

“...And on the ninth day God created mosquitoes, just to annoy the hell out of everyone.”

WiFi Signals

'This is your idea of hitting the local hotspots?'

"Come and get it!"

Day for day i feel more and more empty.

Toothbrush Romance

When cockroaches go unchecked.

Emotional Support Pest

'How am I going to get all this back in the tube?'

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

"My homework is not done because our home modem is tool slow for downloading the answers."

"I like it here but if Santa doesn't get better WiFi I'm getting a new job."

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."

Thank You For Not Asking If I's enjoying My First Vacation in 20 Years.

Things you forgot to tell me about getting older: "You're going to need bigger tooth floss."

"I'm afraid pretty much every esoteric company name is taken so we're left with 'Mugwump', 'Grungydink' or 'Buh'."

'Instead of a black belt, some of our older students, like Mr. Mertz here, prefer the black suspenders.'

"Sorry, Kevin, but having the wi-fi down for a couple of hour is not 'living off the grid'."

'It's only a slug Norman.'

Genius Bar

"I need a slower internet connection."

"Please point out the problem tooth."

'Internet access... internet access....'

"Unfortunately, our user-friendly toaster is warranty-unfriendly!"

"Forget the table reservations. We found good seats and strong wifi at the bar and we're not moving!"

"OK, let's see. For starters, the guarantee only covers the muffler."

"The best thing is he works without WiFi or a data plan."

How M2M really works.

"No internet connection"