Tool Sharpener Pillows

"Lovely dovetail."

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"He's having a hard time finding work."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Painting the Ceiling

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

Mechanic looking under the hood of a car.

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Neighbor Leaf Wars

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Sale! Weed Whackers

Joust Sharpener

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

"I'm starting my own delivery service. Is there anything you want to borrow from my Dad?!"

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

A DIY disaster.

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

Congratulations on your retirement!

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

'Next Please...' (Joe's Sharpening Service).

Couple using thier new garden hose in the rain

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

Waiting for retirement.

The Hammer

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."