Tool Designer Gifts

Setbacks in the development of the rubber mallet.

"He can't decide which one he likes best. . .His leaf blower, his weed wacker, or his metal detector."

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

Painting the Ceiling

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'They look more up to date than the ones in your tool-box.'

"You've just got to have the biggest and the best, have'nt you?!"

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

"He loves his leaf blower."

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

A bridge builder using an organic blow torch.

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Sale! Weed Whackers

'I suppose you want Polly to forget she heard that.'

STILL LIVES - Bolt: 'It's like we were made for one another!'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

"The problem with these instructions is that they assume I have the attention span to actually read something."

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Of course I know how to use a chainsaw!"

'Where do I put the batteries?'

Instant Laundry Detergent, 'Just add water'.

A hammer in his den enjoying a cigar and port with his collection of trophy thumbs above his head.

Congratulations on your retirement!

1 Only Smart Hammer Instructions

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

'What distinguishes man from the lower animals is the ability to make tools.'

CLEAR!

Waiting for retirement.

The Hammer

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."