Tongue-in-cheek Tactician T-Shirts

'This service has been brought back in house and outsourced numerous times, I propose that as the contract is up for renewal again we consider 'shaking it all about''

Nobody mourned Sir Dad-Joke.

No-Work Orange

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

'Don't worry boss, it's probably archaic!'

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

'I'm fairly certain it's, what we call in the medical profession, a 'snake'.'

Husband / Wife / On The Side

Musician

"I appreciate you asking for directions. But how reliable is 'Just follow your nose!' from a toucan?"

"Hail to thee, blithe spirit!"

'We need someone on the outside.'

'Sir! We're all doomed! It's a fitted sheet! How can we ever hope to stop something we can't even fold?!'

'Great now put the company logo on the togas and make the building in back look like the Parthenon.'

The Three Doctors.

Having asked for some 'bruisers' to bruise oats for feeding horses, Mr. Haycock gets sent the 'Whitechaple Chicken' and the 'Bayswater Slasher'

"We can stop the bombardment - the castle surrendered."

'On the plus side, you won't have to worry about me getting into an expensive college.'

'May I recommend the ketchup '06,sir?'

"Seriously...girls have their own language!"

"Lets stop arguing about the pool. We'll divide it in half and stay on our half."

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

"No Bald Games"

"If you like the baby pictures you should see the 'Making Of' video!"

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

'It's a special technique called cheating.'

'Look, just because I work for you, doesn't mean that I like you sir.'

'Get with it, Ralph! Trophies are meaningless, when everyone gets one!'

'You may have misunderstood about Yompville being a country club prison.'

"My scheme revolves around making promises that we have no intention of keeping. . . for want of a better word, I've called it 'politics'."

'And this is a braille message for the blind.'

'Always put yourself in the other guys shoes, Henderson. If you're quick you can run off with them.'