Tongue-in-cheek Dieter Prints

'The little woman hide the remote control, and I've lost ten pounds looking for it!'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

"I hope that's low calorie eye of newt."

'The second day of my diet is the easiest. By then, I'm off my diet.'

"No matter how much gelato, pizza and tiramisu I eat, I gain weight. This Mediterranean diet just isn't working."

'I'm eating less and drinking less, yet I'm still merry!'

Angel's Food cake vs Devil's food cake.

'I thought it was your figure you were supposed to be watching !'

How Wafer-Thin Mints Stay Thin.

"I'm on a diet. Mini-size it!"

"You're suffering from an overdose of food."

'This exercise bike's brilliant - it's MOTORISED!'

"I'm sorry you decided to leave us! I will really miss your wife at our company parties!"

Snacking on yourself causes NO net weight gain!!!

"I said, I'm on a garlic diet. So far, I've lost 5 pounds and 12 friends."

"I start my diets with the best intentions, but when I see these legs and feet splashing around I go crazy!"

"Oh well. . . another New Year's resolution shot!"

"All our vegetables are well done. It's a return to the old values."

"The clouds of heaven have a load limit of 65 KG! Everyone over the load limit sinks down to Hell! 65,3 KG! You should not have eaten that last cake!"

'Everytime there's a thaw, I lose a lot of weight.'

'If it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck, it's a genetically modified potato.'

"Don’t you dare talk to your father in all caps young lady!"

"I bought a metric scale. I'll no longer be disappointed with my weight because I won't know what it means."

'I don't mind pigging out as long as it's not on empty calories.'

'With a grin like that you can't be sticking to your diet'

Weight loss clinic, in and out doors.

Fantasy Diet League

'Fancy a liquid lunch?'

"Don't worry, I shall be putting an exclamation mark after it."

'You're right. I should watch what I eat. From now on, I'll leave the refrigerator door open so the light shines on my midnight snack.'

'I'm on three different diets. That way I get to eat more.'

R.I.P Seth Grimthorp

'Get with it, Ralph! Trophies are meaningless, when everyone gets one!'