Tome Talker Prints

Librarian/Book Whisperer

'..and we thank thee for these bio-engineered vegetables..'

"She likes to be included, so I told her the tea is called 'Squirrel Grey.'"

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"Snow White swears by these 10 products for flawless beauty."

Moo Out Loud

"Dude, I'm losing you in this tunnel."

WTF?

'I'm down to a pack of neuroses a day.'

"Abbreviations here, abbreviations there, and one is more incomprehensible than the next!"

"Sure I used drugs when I was your age, but they were all prescribed for acne."

Macho talk from down in accounting.

Santa uses his interviewing skills on his second job, too.

Preserved

Obtaining a degree in TV Broadcasting.

'What if someone says 'everything is not alright'?'

'Every time you speak, George, your new teeth whistle!'

'The good news is you don't have to worry about cholesterol, carbs, or trans fat.'

'The 20th century wasn't bad, but I preferred the 19th. I'm open minded for the 21st.'

Subway Library

"I had that dream again where I kill my Shrink."

"So have you been watching Bridgerton?"

'What's this, lad? Didn't I tell you not to carry anything heavy!'

'They're fine through the day, but when I leave work the little one goes 'wee wee wee' all the way home.'

A tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it.

'I made a big mistake. In a fit of anger, I said, 'Screw you' to my boss.'

Man talking to a tree.

'I decided the world wasn't ready for the wheel, so I invented the desk.'

'I'm really worried Doc. I'm beginning to feel quite good about myself!'

"We can rule out stage fright. Maybe it's performance anxiety."

"I sometimes eat and drink too much. My stomach gets very upset about it."

"Are you talking to amoeba?"