Toddler Wrangling T-Shirts

A mum trying to dry an excited child

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

A young Don King

Swan Fairy Tales

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

Toys in the DVD Player.

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"I'm so good at this!"

'Beware of teething baby.'

"Where's your nose?"

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

Climbing with the baby

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

'This is Tyler; he's mommy's precious little feral-angel.'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

'But, Mom, being good just doesn't work for me.'

Baby zipping himself up then going to sleep

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'