Toddler Tumbler Mugs

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Mother feeds messy child with extra long spoon.

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Swan Fairy Tales

Little league world series of poker.

The No No No's

"They’re baseballs. You throw ’em."

'Why can't we trade him to that lady for her two little girls?'

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's having a wardrobe malfunction!'

Doughboy Dad

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Stepping on clown's shoe...

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

'Beware of teething baby.'

Oh, sorry, it's in airplane mode.""

"I'm going crazy staring at the same four legs."

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

"As it's your birthday, would you like to go in the Big Chair?"

"No, I wasn't in a car accident. As a new parent, I'm still trying not to trip on all the toys on the floor."

'Row, row, row your boat, Gently down the stream...'

"I'd like me first word to be profound, but I'll probably panic and blurt out 'Mama' like every other baby."

"This is our most practical model. It comes with a 21-year warranty."

'Sorry, sweetie -- they're not that kind of cookies.'

Those missing socks...where do they go?

"I haven't been in a playpen yet that could hold me."

"Come back to bed. You know sleep deprivation lowers your sales resistance."

'Gee, Dad, Mom's getting better at this all the time!'

"I mean, he does have a point."

"I hope you remembered to bring something for the dog."

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

'Getting other people's toddler's leftovers on a highchair is one thing, but getting their toddler, too, is another.'

"How is it you only remember the good times?"

"Before we start on the main agenda does anybody need money to take them to the tinkle room?"

Toddler in the Bed: A Journey

'Do these come in blue?'