To-do List Tactician Pillows

To do before Saturday...

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

Building business relations.

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"But mom, all you said was 'get all your stuff up off the floor!' "

War never felt the same after the Great Puppy Ambush.

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

The Use of Cavalry

Kosovo.

"I think you left something of your resumé... writer of fiction!"

'With your permission sir... checkmate.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'Thank you colonel we'll keep your strategy in mind.'

Manager. Managing a political campaign and a baseball team are alike in many ways. A campaign is launched with a "first pitch," when a candidate gives a speech selling himself or herself. I change pitchers based on the game situation. In politics and baseball, sometimes it's best to come from the right side and sometimes it's best to come from the left side. We study our competitors' weaknesses and exploit those. In politics we call that "opposition research." And I don't worry about the

Personnel. What do I call those gaps in my work history? Quality time.

'What else do you have going for you besides being aggressive?'

Labradoodle/Labradon't-le

'You never compliment me when it's tidy so I figured you wouldn't notice when it's a tip!'

Office De-cluttering

'Nice decorating. I like the clothes and toys everywhere...and the half eaten sandwich really ties it all together!'

'Your resume is very creative. It's all a crock."

There's so many things I should be doing that when I procrastinate, I'm multitasking.

Kangaroo to upside down joey: 'Once again your room is in total disarray!'

Arsene Wenger

"Your resume says you specialize in field work."

"Isn't it about time you tidied up around here...?"

"Now we have all your arrows!"

'Starting tomorrow, I'm going to stop putting things off.'

"I'm adding the laundry room and kitchen to your GPS. Judging by all the clothes and dishes in your room, you don't know the locations."

Jack Frost's To Dew List: Trees, grass, leaves, windows, cars.

'We want the kids to buy it so we can't play up the fact that it's educational in nature.'

"See you in the morning."

I've got to make an offering to the cheapskate muse. What's that got to do with me? You understand women. What could I do to bring back my goddess of inspiration? That's nice. What's nice? Goddess of inspiration. You mind if I use that line on this hottie I met when I was trolling for broads at the bus station? This is not helping! No, it is. Don't sell yourself short. HOJ.

'Cap'n, why's the enemy fire so accurate after we deployed the smoke screen?'

'What's wrong, dear? You haven't magnetized anything to the refrigerator in days.'