Tired Professional Pillows

"I'm feeling completely wiped out."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"First break since 2008."

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

"I need to clone myself."

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

Man running from desk: 'I can't seem to get away from my work lately.'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

'Sure, I remember using carbon paper. Does that carbon date me?'

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

"And this is another economic indicator."

'Insomniacs anonymous.'

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

"So we actually can agree on something...rolled sleeves, loose ties, and no jackets!"

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

"I hate doing appraisals, it involves thinking about them."

Of COURSE I hate to rush around all the time! But I do it so I won't have to hurry later!

"Perhaps it was wrong to say 'May our company become a home to you'..."

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

'...and to commemorate 20 loyal years to the company, this gold plated sundial.'

Road signs of Aging

"...but after they hired Vanna White instead of me things really got interesting."

"Lemme guess: You forgot the basil Mom asked for, and my ice cream is in your briefcase?"

'I see the SAGA talent scouts are here.'

'It's ironic really. We love kids most when they are unconscious!'

'What do you tell someone who asks you what kind of work you do?'

Another use for retired sumo wrestlers: Roundabout ahead.

"Please hold my calls."