Tipple Tinker Pillows

'Invented a new cocktail.' '

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"I imagined the Library of Congress would be much bigger."

'What we've got here is a failure to communicate.'

"If you're smart enough to design a robot to do your homework, then you're certainly smart enough to just do your homework."

Drool Marks

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

'I don't like the sound of the engine.'

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

'Sharon's into genetic engineering!'

Sistine Selfie

'Your report card grades are poor. Maybe you should stop building model airplanes. The glue is getting to you.'

His verbal skills are developing, but his motor skills are very advanced. (Originally published on 2009-02-01).

Technology and literature

"All my gadgets are old. I'd like some new gadgets."

My first mistake.

Uranium, heavy water? Where on the web did you say you got the plans for this birdhouse?

"When you think of it, all you really need is one 3D printer to start manufacturing them yourself!"

Our Computer is Up/Down.

December 17, 1903: We miraculously devise a craft that can transport human beings though the sky. December 18, 1903: We figure out how to use said craft to kill people.

Solar car with automatic navigation system, automatically choosing sunny routes.

"Why run the maze when you don't have to?"

'Sander's a bit high isn't it?'

"The new system is 100% accurate as long as the client is called Colin and lives in Swindon."

'We have developed an APP we use to import ingredients from the Internet, merge them in the computer, and then download them into the distiller and then just bottle the output.'

With a little twist on the sidecar concept, Harold was able to ride his motorcycle well into his later years.

Most of his innovative product ideas first saw life in his home studio.

'I wrote a program that generates random conspiracy theories.'

'Don't knock it. The copy machine hasn't broken down in a month.'

"Now, you show me yours"

"Great prototype, but I asked for a grate prototype."

'You're a nihilist, eh? — well, at least you have something to believe in.'

"Yes we have dollar drafts, no you can't use your own glass."

"I think we've been wasting out time testing phones on rats. We already know phones are addictive."