Tip Jar Warrior T-Shirts

'This one's for the cheap b*****d who just tipped me a quarter.'

"Open wide please! So I can get my hand out!"

The louder the kid, the tighter the lid.

Your energy bill is enclosed. You might want to sit down.

Changing Room Decisions

Yeah, I've been driving in circles for an hour looking for a place to park. Zamboni.

Where there's a Mall--There's a Way.

'The difference between the sexes...First Contact...'

"Tip my boy."

'Hold my purse. I'm going in only to complain.'

Sold It All.

"Scan my own items, bag my own food? If I wanted to work here, I'd fill out an application!"

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

"Work with me!"

Crazy Ed's Warehouse - body in freezer - "Nobody beats our prices and gets away with it."

"Tenth circle. Ladies' shoes."

'I just asked if you were finding everything alright. I never said I worked here.'

The Chinese want to know what capitalism is worth and will we take half for it?

"Just so you know, despite the horrifying beating you're about to receive, I'm actually a pretty good hockey player."

"I'm a bargain hunter."

'And I got this scar when I got in a crush of plump women rushing to buy Leviathongs at the mall sale...'

"I'm addicted to online shoppin. It's so bad that I have a hallway full of unopened parcels."

'Dad, I've decided to make some money to supplement my allowance.' 'Good for you. Got a little mowing job?' 'Nope. A tip jar. And oh by the way, 15 to 20 percent is customary.'

End Tipping Now!: 'I can't find a hotel that will host our convention!

Let's go, young man. Off to the mall! We're off to the mall. I thought we'd hit the big box retailers, then the food court, and finish off with a bookstore. Wait. When you said we were going shopping, I thought you meant we'd surf the net, check Amazon, read product reviews … No, no, soft internet shopper. This is actual shopping at a physical mall, cut-throat old-lady style. Is that a pith helmet?

"I'm certainly no expert on the matter, but throwing the copier out the window just may be a sign you're suffering from stress."

"Mind wiping that scanner first? There's no telling whose stuff has been dragged over it."

"Mr. Rod gave me my employee review. He said I totally 'meet expectations'."

'Type the following as fast as you can!'

Little did Fred know that he was igniting a corporate paper wad fight that would eventually cost the company 629 million in lost production time and force the closure of 21 branch offices.

Gordon Ramsay's Own Brand

"He gave me a complete checkup form head to wallet."

"Don't text so fast! At this rate, you'll need your thumbs retread."

"Who do I complain to about your complaint department?"

"Get a move on, my tranquillizer is wearing off!"