Tiny Spectacle Lover Mugs

Old women in model village over reacting at 'wrestling' in the model town hall

"Hugh fans!"

'Look behind you. . . Just kidding.'

"You really need to think about getting glasses."

"What would you recommend to hold a seven-year-old girl's attention in a car from East Seventy-eighth Street to Bridgehampton?"

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Yes, I'm very excited. I really think that I will make my mark as a surrealist miniaturist.'

"Try not to think of it as a box, but rather as an environmentally neutral, biodegradable, single person unit of accommodation!"

"Home school marching band"

Trappist talk show.

"You wanted to see the pastry chef, sir."

'I told you I'd make you a star.'

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

Why does every kid want the wallet size? School picture, early days.

Don't put your daughter on the stage Mrs Worthington.

'He's is in a bad mood tonight!'

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

"I promised myself I would never let this happen to me."

"A five, six, seven, eight, Mooooom!"

Ballerina and the light switch.

"Expensive coffee is a cheap vacation."

"Ma, I just wanted you to know that the kid whose mouth you washed out with soap dozens of times was today referred to by the New York Times as a 'profanely eloquent' playwright!"

"I thought I liked babies, but, as it turned out, I mainly like baby clothes."

"Wrong, wrong, wrong and wrong. I'd like you to see another specialist. His office is closer to the eye chart."

One woman show

"The circus' new owner hired a catcher for us."

"This franchise deal looks great! But I can't see the fine print."

Young boy shows refined taste in champagne

An air guitarist is given an air donation.

Clown hitchhikes to circus

"Oh, look, John. They have 'Edible Arrangements' here!"

"Trust me, I'm in PR."

'That's called the 'Mask of Tragedy.' Otherwise known as the last person whose cell phone rang during the opera!'

Stacking doll with Stacking doll beds.

"How are those?"