Tiny Gourmand Gifts

"Mom, vegetables may help me grow and give me energy, but what if I want to be short and underachieving?"

The wonderful world of cheese.

"I'm so proud - she's already learning her shapes."

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'Strained carrots again! What am I being punished for this time?'

Hamish Harris. The boy bon vivant.

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"OK, duty roster for today: Ken is to scout for entrees, Tim for mains and of course, Tina for desserts..."

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

'It's another cookery programme but It's aimed at children.'

"I'm making pink lemonade!"

"The mint on the pillow was nice, but I'd prefer a chocolate fudge brownie."

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

"The biggest mystery in my life is whether I get a peanut butter and jelly or a tuna fish sandwich!"

Boy baking a cake.

A London gent abroad

'I'm so glad to hear that your teeth are falling out too, Manfred - I thought it was my mom's cooking!'

"Today's special is puréed sweet potato on cracker."

Waiter indicates cutlery for diner's tiny meal, saying: 'The one on the right is your mangnifying glass, sir.'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

Dijon Vu

'I don't mind if I spill vegetables, but I hate it when I spill dessert.'

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

"What's not disgusting?"

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

'There! Now all we gotta decide is what we're gonna make!'

"I think I'll go home and start some unhealthy eating habits I'll live to regret."

'It seems the environment people, the health department and the food and drug administration all have reservations about his place.'