Tiny Analyst Pillows

'This boy you call my son doesn't care about investments, economy and money. I want a DNA test.'

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"I'm starting him off with a little rope theory."

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

Today we learned to count to one.

"I haven't started playing the violin. I hide my vegetables in here!"

'I'm sure that you are highly qualified. It's just that we're not hiring anyone at the third grade level.'

"After I graduate middle school, high school and college, I'll go to law school to get you out of this. But I want my retainer now."

"William Blake said you can see the whole world in a grain of sand, but he doesn't always make a lot of sense."

'We never should have bought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious or arbitrary.'

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

'I've been coming to Kindergarten every day for two weeks!-- When do I get paid?'

'He said his first words today - 'Let's sue them'.'

"This is my last day. My parents found a more expensive school on the East Side."

Girl on a giant pair of scissors.

"This is kindergarten, Mason. You can think outside the box, but you'd better color between the lines."

'I have her registered in a pre-med nursery program.'

Privacy Stops Where the Parking Lot Begins

Censorship? We Don't Do That Here.

Baby using model construction system to retrieve jam.

The Book Club

"She's cute all right. But, whoa, what a narcissist!"

'It says 'turn screw clockwise to tighten.' Which way is clockwise in digital?'

'He's showing an interest in banking and finance.'

"Elon is coming! Elon is coming!"

'The pain in your eyes is from too much TV. The pain in your arm is from too much base-ball and that other pain is from too much home-work.'

'We never should have brought him that little lawyer kit. Suddenly, everything I ask him to do is capricious and arbitrary.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN, 'It's okay, I guess, but they sure hassle you about compliance!'

'Teddy, someone from the Pentagon wants to talk to you about drones in Pakistan, whatever that means.'

"It's important to learn numbers. Then you can have a pin number and get money from ATMs."

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Junior Doctor and Junior Insurance Salesman

'I understand how I was born; I want to know why.'

"Miss Peterson, may I go home? I can't assimilate any more data today."