Tinnitus Tales Pillows

don't you think it might be significant that you only hear the ringing in your ears when you're at church?

"It get it – you're hungry."

'Silly me. I thought his 'Catch and Release' bumper sticker referred to his philosophy on trout fishing.'

Little Piano

"My great-uncle Octavio always wore his hat in the house. That way, if bad company knocked on the door, he could say he was just leaving."

'I know how you like things to be clean, so I gave fishy a bath!"

Newton discovers surrealism

Are you sure you're not holding your breath?

'One small tooth for me...one giant worry for you.'

"And where exactly is Timbuktu?"

You're going to give me a hay fever shot? Shouldn't I be getting an anti hay fever shot?

'Ferguson's not at his desk -- He must be sleepwalking again!'

"It's too hot to strive for autonomy."

"You scared me half to death. That's 4.5 lives!"

'Now she's frightened of your snoring...'

'When I was your age we had to carry our water from the spring in a bucket...and then we'd get it out with a dipper!'

'I couldn't get the cap off the prescription bottle. What did you die of?'

"His snoring is just loud enough to mask my tinnitus."

'These are the last of the pull-ups, so no on have a taxi-dent, OK?'

'Tell me, how do you intend taking my tooth out.'

Sooner or Later

'Next we tried continuous intravenous drip fluid therapy...'

Spectrometer Blues

"I may be getting older, but my mind is still as sharp as a...umm...one of those little pointy things!"

'You snored all night, so now I have to kill you.'

'Say, aren't you the cop who gave me a speeding ticket for going 26 in a 25 mile per hour zone?'

'I'm going to hibernate in another cave. You have sleep apnea and your snoring kept me up all of last winter.'

'Turn over, Zorro!'

"This is nothing - you should see my driving instructor!"

'You're not going to believe this,Doc!'

'When I snore, I'm put in solitary. And on nights when I don't, I'm released back into the general population.'

The story of my op. - please take one

"How can you know you don't like it until you try it?"