Timing Seeker Pillows

"What time is it?"

"Too crowded. Let's go."

Ancient Racing

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Bob's Driving School.

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Middle-aged guy spots an available convertible. The mating ritual begins.

'Now will you pull over and ask for directions?'

'My new browser is so fast I have to take motion sickness pills.'

"You go ahead and sleep, girl. I’m sure Philip Roth won’t be offended."

A caterpillar is rowing itself along

"An enormous amount of advanced engineering has gone into our latest models. That's not to say, of course, that an enormous amount of advanced engineering hasn't always gone into all our models."

Computer Controlled Car

'So, then.... you don't LIKE life in the fast lane?'

Bathroom shelf full of clocks and pills.

If you're looking for a good time, you'll find it; if you can't find it, it will find you....

Modern camping

"I'd say hi to my favorite teacher, but I think she's enjoying some quiet remote-from-us learning."

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

'He's on a high carbohydrate diet,'

Cow outboard engine

Quick, what's the five-second rule in dog years?

'I'd love to put you behind the wheel of this car. However, I doubt the bank will allow you to finance it for 30,000 months.'

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

The inventor of the clock realizes his mistake

"My boss wanted someone with drive so I hired a NASCAR racer."

'Safe!'

Slipstream

'I normally don't ride a dirt bike, but my motorcycle doesn't do well on potholes.'

"Unfortunately, extinction was inevitable for the Have-a-need-for-speed-asaurus."

Pamplona 500

"So the question you need to ask yourself is - 'Just how much of a mid-life crisis can I afford?'"

"What an amazing view!"

Pedalo Racer

"I don't get it. If he's no faster than me, how come he always beats me?"