Time-traveling Yogi T-Shirts

'I'm on my break right now -- can you come back next February?'

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"I want him to have the serenity to accept the things he can't pee on, the patience to pee on the things he can outside, and the wisdom to know the difference." "But I'll probably just take him to a trainer."

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

Time Machine Collision

"I had to skip my workout."

You had me at vintage.

Stressed over time management

"Make a sandcastle with you? Of course darling. What about Thursday 3.15pm?"

"Hey, no problem. I am one with multiple tasks."

'New Age Dog Park' Dogs commune with Nature.

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

'Thanks for coming to this 12.01 appointment, but I'm afraid my 12.02 has now arrived.'

Desperate to escape 2017, a scientist built his own time machine.

Took On Too Much

"How long were you in that headstand?"

"Let me put on my 'working' head."

Stress

Monday around 9PM.

"I've learned from the past. Now can we move on?"

'So, how long will this take?'

"Oh Gog. . . I wish we could just freeze this moment in time!"

Hourglass Dumptruck

Quicksands of time

"Remember the good old days, when all we had to worry about was a dollar-sixty-a-pound sirloin?"

"I'm feeling less stressed since I set my biological clock back an hour."

"Hi. We're from the future."

"It's a leap year, so an extra week's added to the calendar."

"You'll get over him."

Boss? There was a scrawny pigeon taped to my bedroom window this morning. A post-it note stuck to its back said "Sincerely, Armstrong." So it wasn't a dream! Last night, as I slumbered in my bed, I was visited by three spirits. They took me on a tour of Christmases past, present, and future. I used the tips future-me gave me to tell past-me to save money so present-me can buy the right obscure stocks, so future-me can reap huge dividends in 2047. Very. Bad. Man. The ghosts said something about m

'It appears to be some sort of staff development presentation.'

Time to Call Workaholics Anonymous.

"Look, hon, I know both of our schedules have been crazy, but I still think we should take time out to consummate our marriage."