Time-traveling Negotiator T-Shirts

I was a hunter, then a gatherer, now I broker deals between the two."

"I see we're going up against the Big Guys."

Ideas Ahead of their Time

'But, Mom. Think of all the leftovers he can thankfully eliminate.'

"Stock options won't do it. I'll also need a ball of yarn."

"No, four glasses of water was enough. . . now I have to go to the bathroom!"

'Even though you're the client, it's my duty to tell you you're wrong. . . Ok then. Speak slowly so I can write down your every whim.'

"Houston, we have a problem!"

'I'm pretty sleepy tonight, Dad - could we just skip ahead to the chase scene?'

"I'll trade you my cupcake for your head lice."

"Miss Rogers, Sally Green. Is it true my son's research project is 'the effect of too much television on a typical ten-year-old?'"

"No screen time means more scream time."

1930's bather.

"I realize you want to enjoy every last minute of summer, but it's not possible to stay awake until school starts."

"I learned that I'm more of a leaf pile jumper and less of a leaf pile raker."

'Early to bed and early to rise? It's a deal.'

'If I eat three more pieces of meat and three more spoonfuls of peas, I want three puddings after!'

'All right. I'll get forty winks, but not one wink more.'

"Tonight the covers stay on my side."

'Did you try rebooting?'

"It's a note from teacher. She wants to trade the apple I gave her for my chocolate fudge brownie."

"I'm not eating candy before dinner. I'm skipping dinner."

'But I can't go to bed yet, Mom. Kids watch an average of seven hours of TV a day, and I've only watched five and a half hours.'

Old West Saloon Has Revolving Door Put In

"Please! Just let me stay up one more hour. Then I promise I'll fall asleep right here in front of the TV."

'Early to bed and early to rise. I like a saying with an escape clause.'

'I'll trade you my topsoil for your apple.'

"How did people waste time before computers?"

"If you promise to be very careful, Mommy will let you carry the baguettes."

'faster!'

'It's a deal. You buy my insurance and I'll buy your knitted booties.'

"When you're President, then you can watch six hours of television a day."

"But I'm not even tir..."