Time-traveling Jogger Mugs

The circular nature of running wear.

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

Doug had trouble getting home at a decent hour.

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

The Missing Sock Returns

If time travel was invented in 1600 in England. I'm a fan of the bard. Let's see if he wants to take a journey through time. Globe Theater. Sounds fun! Let's go to 2020. It's a nice round number. Zazzz! Poof! That's weird. How did they know he was coming? And why does he need to leave this place? Apparently you can't be here, William. The sign says "No Shakespeare in the park this summer."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

Second hand furniture.

E=mc2.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

"Early model of baggage claim"

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

Time for vacation, time for work.

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

Einstein develops his theories that time is relative while ordering at a fast food restaurant.

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."

Stressed over time management

"I had to skip my workout."

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

You had me at vintage.

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"I don't know who you are!"