Time Traveler In Training Pillows

'The time? Yes, it's VII ... no, hang on, er ... IX ... uh ... oh, for God's sake, it's half nine, OK?'

'What happens after the end of time?'

"Sorry I'm late, Ms. Dow. The electricity went off last night and we didn't wake up 'til 12:00 12:00 12:00 12:00..."

"You know, no matter how much you stare at your watch, summer isn't going to come any faster."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Let's just say I have a pre-existing condition."

"Meet the scribe"

Historical memory is on life support.

'That's about it so far, Son.'

"We're following Carrot Top."

"So then, after I'd invented my time machine, I thought: why not go back and visit the good old days?"

Second hand furniture.

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'Whoops! I think you've arrived a little too early for school today, Dad!'

"Desmond likes to live in the moment. . . and that moment happens to be 1960."

"About how if the dark ages never happened we'd be so much more technologically advanced by now."

"Damn. I took the Rip Van Nyquil."

Super Strength, Impervious to Bullets And Explosions

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

"Please! No harmonizing during ululations!"

Sundial Time

"Early model of baggage claim"

Time Machine Collision

Time for vacation, time for work.

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

"I'm going to prove that Math comes in handy later in life."

Danger Slow Sand.

'You know what they say - 'Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to go to summer school.''

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

'When I met him he was all bright and shiny - now he's a rust bucket.'

'This new game isn't working out -- the ball keeps running away.'

"It seems like only yesterday that Dad told me I'll be an adult before I know it."

"We have plenty of time to catch the ark."

"This just in... the country has adopted a 24 hr military clock... ...details at 23."